Packing Up The U-Haul

I’m following geekbetty’s lead and moving on to Blogger. Call me shallow but I like making my blog all pretty and stuff. I hope you’ll join me at the new digs

Booking Through Thursday

“Is there a book that you wish you could “unread”? One that  you disliked so thoroughly you wish you could just forget that you ever read it?”

Oh yes… it would be Brian Lumley’s The Necromancer.  If there is a book that merits wanting to scrub my brain with bleach, this would be it.  It was given to me by a boy who thought I would enjoy it, seeing as I loved all things Anne Rice.  Silly lad.  See, I love vampires.   Vampires=sexy hotness to me.  But the guy who kills people then has sex with the corpse? Not so much.

I guess  I must more than just “liked” this  boy. It must have been love since I actaully finshed to the book.

Wordless Wednesday

Meet Rupert…he’s made a home for himself in the back yard.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

I’m jonseing for a cigarette right now.  Like serious would-sell-vital-organs-for-a-smoke type jonseing.  Sad, I know—and you wanna know what is sadder? My nicotine-tinged fantasies were brought on by a boy I saw on TV.  Maybe “boy ” is pushing it… he’s 40—but, to quote the awesomeness that was Lucille Ball, “if we break up the world into girls and boys, he’s a boy”.   And yes, he is the reason I want to drown my sorrows in a toxic haze.

Ok, let me start at the beginning.  A few years back a smart-ass Sheriff’s deputy came to work in my building.  So what made him stand out from the gaggle of smart-ass cops that used to inhabit this place?  He was young, smart, and delicious dark wit.  He was a mix of  Jack Nicholson circa Chinatown and Michael J. Fox.  Anyway, we hit it off instantly…camaraderie brought on by a love of all things 80’s and soon it became obvious we were  in Luv.

I’m not sure how to explain Luv.  It was like a grown up version of an elementary school crush.  He was Kitten, I was Dollface.  We shared Blow Pops and cigarettes.   We loved Elvis and Weird Al Yankovic.   We were going to be Mulder and Scully searching for real assassin of Marilyn Monroe and  Bonnie and Clyde out to slay vampires.  And we were both involved with other people.

We never really acted on our feelings.  There were hugs that lasted a little too long.  Kisses that were almost but not quite there.  And the familiarity that was just a notch below inappropriate for the office.   Then one day he was gone.   He came by my office to say he had heard “things” about me  and never spoke to me again.  His last day at work for the city, he said good by to everyone but me.  So much for Luv.

Last night he was on the evening news, interviewed as the lead detective on a case.   I remembered all the good times we had.  And I got angry all over again. The fact that he wrote me off over a rumor still pisses me off.

And I still need a cigarette.

Just another statistic

Unemployment is high, right? All you have to do is watch the news to hear about the lack of jobs, long lines at the EDD, etc.    Well, it seems that word of this has yet to reach Geek Boy’s ears.    He just added to that stat as HE QUIT HIS JOB.   Can you tell I’m a bit upset?   He was under contract and simply asked to be let go.  You would think he had some terrible stuff going on at work but no.  Just childish crap that most people encounter on the job.   His reasons for quitting:  1) he doesn’t like his boss, 2) he doesn’t like attending meetings, 3) he has to share his office.  Wow, Geek Boy, I shall shed tears over your plight.  Right after I scream at you.

I can’t say he hasn’t been trying to find work.  He’s been diligently sending out resumés.  Crappy ones.  And don’t forget the cover letters with grammatical errors.  I’ve tried to help him with both, but nooooo.  He refused any help…even though  the whole job finding gig is what I do at work.  All. Fucking. Day.   Grrrrrrrr.  I wish he wasn’t so stubborn.

I’m going to try to make the best of it, though—it is  nice having him home when I get there.   I think I’m going to miss that when he does find another job.

Friday Fun

Fridays at work are nice. By ‘nice’ I mean really, really, slow. Slow days usually bore me, but since I have to write a paper for my Ethics class, I’m grateful for quiet. I’m supposed to be working  on my paper, as a matter of fact, but I’m not. I chose the topic of animal rights, and some of the stuff I’ve read made me cry. Yeah, I’m a sucker that way. Now I’m thinking that maybe I should have chosen a different topic.

Speaking of furry creatures, my sweet kitty Aimee went to the vet this week. First of all, let me say that Aimee is the sweetest. Sweetest. Kitty. Ever. Her mommy Josephine was a Ragdoll, and Aimee inherited her docile nature. This is Aimee:

See, she’s an angel! Or so I thought. Monday morning, we were at the vet’s office to have her vaccinated and have her claws trimmed.  Two vaccines into the ordeal, she snapped at the vet.   Like bared teeth, growled, and tried to bite him, kind of a snap.  Yikes.  She seemed a bit upset after the next one, but when the assistant put some kind of medicine in her nose, Aimee lost it.  She growled, snapped, and finally gave the assistant a nice long scratch on her forearm.  This, the same cat that I had just described as “completely calm”.  Well, I guess if someone put stuff up your nose, you’d be a bit miffed too.

As far as the nail trim, that went out the window.  When the vet came in with a tiny Hannibal Lecter muzzle, I knew it was time to thank him and leave.   So now Aimee is walking around with claws like Wolverine and an attitude to match.

Wordless Wednesday

Watch out David Beckham!

Cue Ren and Stimpy

Dear Diary…

Just kiding.   I always wanted a diary as a kid but I never had one.  First of all, my mom–bless her suspcious little heart–probably would have read it.  Second, I was a boring, nerdy, little kiddlet.  Other than my life long crush on Adam Ant (yeps, I still love me some dandy highwayman.  I’m nothing if not loyal– like the unknown who left flowers on Rudolph Valentino’s grave for years)  there was nothing for me to write about.    Kinda like now. 

So as far as the depression,  I’m ok at the moment.  The weekend was a little rough though.   Geek Boy wants a new car and I don’t.  I don’t know why really.   His truck has like 98,000 miles on it  and I know it won’t last forever but the whole new car thing seems like such a waste to me.   The whole car ordeal has made me stress out to the point that my hair has fallen out in round little patches.  Nice.  It always happens when I stress and dealing with GB and the Parental Unit just increase the stressiness.    I love them dearly but they’ve gotten on my last nerve.   And neither GB or Mom understand my need for Me Time.  I’ve tried to explain it to them but they take it as an affront on my part.  I’ve given up trying to explain it a this point.   I just say I’m a Scorpio, we like to be alone.   Now go away.  Hehe.   How’s that for a St. Paddy’s Day rainbow?

Grrr…someone is ringing the bell on the counter.  I don’t know who put that bloody thing there.  This is a government office, not a bakery.  If it were I’d be swimming in cookies and éclairs.  And probably be much happier.   Bell again.  Same jerk.  Ok, I have comandeered the bell.  Take that,  public at large.   Now they are pounding on the counter.  WTF?   That’s it.  I’m going to show them some of my WWE inspired moves.

Happy, happy, joy, joy.

It’s Been A Long Time

It’s been a long time since I’ve written, hasn’t it?   I just haven’t had it in me to write.   Lately the depression seems to be getting worse.  It used to feel like a black cloud was looming over me, but now it feels like an all out rainstorm. I don’t want to do anything but sleep. Trying to keep up appearances is tough—I don’t want to worry my family—but I think therapy and/or meds are going to be inevitable.   So in the mean time, I’m doing what I did the last time I got the mean reds—turn to the internet.   Keeping an online journal has been helpful in the past, maybe it will be again.

Here’s to hoping for the best.

Zombie Girl

I’ve been trying to lay low for the last few weeks. My self-imposed exile was due mostly to my bout with a tad o’ depression. I’ve been walking around feeling like an extra from Night of the Living Dead. The crappy colorized version, to boot. I bloody hate it when I get that way. Stress and depression make Dangerkitty a bitchy girl. Bitchier, I mean. Anyway, the dark cloud seem to be dispersing—cross your fingers.

The last few weeks have been rather uneventful. Lots of work, housework, and not a lot of time to spend with Geek Boy. His company is working on a video game release and the deadline is approaching so he works crazy hours. We see each other for a bit in the morning and another little while before we go to sleep. I kinda miss the Nerd…go fig. We do get to spend our weekends together—in his office. Yep, he works ALL week. Its kinda fun, though. I have crafting stuff, books , a computer and Geek Boy. And I’m surrounded by cute, geeky boys!(GB’s boss is HOT!) It’s like geek-girl heaven!

Last weekend sucked, however. I found out on Saturday that my 15 year old cat Drew passed away the day before. I know he was an older kitty and he wasn’t in very good health, but that doesn’t make it any easier. It really hit me when I drove to my parents’ place on Monday and realized I wasn’t going to play with Drew anymore. I’ll write more about him later and post a picture. I miss the little guy.